First Section

I really like this book so far and am already well past the first mark. But I can't seem to figure out what makes the book so enticing. Perhaps it's because the book is nothing like anything I have ever really encountered before, the characters, their thoughts, ideas, emotions, and actions are all things that I am not used to. Or maybe its because the book is so depressing and horrifying, that I just can't seem to put it down.

I can't really seem to relate to any of the characters. I don't understand why Josie is so depressed. I can understand feeling like you have to put up a front and nobody likes you for the real you (what girl has honestly never felt that?), but I don't understand how she can have a backup suicide plan. You would think that if you were that unhappy with the life you are living, you would do something to change it. To me, it seems like Josie killing herself would just be taking the easy way out. And I can't help but wonder if the fact that Josie's mom didn't want to have her in the first place has anything to do with how the two treat each other now.

I cannot even begin to comprehend anything that was going through Peter's mind as he ran around the school shooting and killing ten people and afterwards showing no remorse whatsoever. It's really unsettling and unnerving to me think that people can actually have the capability to live with themselves after killing ten people.

The first section has already left me full of questions. I think the biggest question is what the heck made Peter want to kill a bunch of people? What made him so ticked off? I am also really curious as to why he didn't kill himself. The first italicized entry of the book I assumed was written by Peter, to Josie. It seemed like he was blaming everything on Josie and in a way it seemed like he didn't want to kill her because it would serve her right. Like somehow he thought that if he let her live, then she would have to suffer like he did and he would be teaching her a lesson. But it sounded like he wanted to die, and I am curious as to why he changed his mind. I also think that it is strange that Peter and Josie still have some weird suicidal connection even though Josie doesn't talk to Peter anymore. And one other thing that is really bothering me is Peter's brother, Joey. I thought that he was the poster child, but then Lacy keeps talking about how she has already lost one son and couldn't bear to lose another. But what happened to him?